Jollof, please.
I had just finished my late-night workout. The time was 11:43 pm and I had completed a 30 min Nike Training Club in 37 minutes. The final routine was 10 reps of burpees so I was still panting hard when my brother, Vernay, asked if I was still interested in a multiplayer round of PUBG. “Omo, I haven’t done my Spanish training for the day yet and I still need to complete that analysis I was working on”, I replied as I walked into the bathroom.
Turning on the shower, about 3 droplets of water splashed on my head and then, silence. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” I cursed under my breath as I called out to my brother to help turn on the pumping machine. I knew it would take at least another 15 minutes before enough water was pumped for the shower to run again so I decided to spend the time catching up on a lesson from the “Contract Law: From Trust to Promise to Contract” course I was taking on Edx. Less than 2 minutes in, a WhatsApp message from Madu popped up on my screen which read “guy, you don see this video?” I clicked on it and it turned out to be the link to a #DontRushChallenge video on Twitter. It was such a fun video that I clicked on the hashtag and started watching video after video. I didn’t know I had spent over an hour in the bathroom watching videos until Vernay called out to me that the jollof rice was ready.
He was still blending the tomatoes when I entered the bathroom, so how the food was ready and I hadn’t even started the shower was beyond me. I started the shower and about 20 minutes later, while towelling off my body and singing along to Teni’s Billionaire, I got a video call from Somto and Shanana on Houseparty. While drying my hair with the towel, I picked up and started with “una no dey sleep?” They greeted me with hearty laughs and thus began another 30 minutes that flew by in 5 seconds.
As I bade them goodnight, I sat at the table to conclude my analysis when the hunger pangs hit. I checked the time and it was almost 2 am. How did that happen? I wondered to myself as I walked to the kitchen only to find it in pristine condition. All the pots and plates were clean while the gas cooker was sparkling. “What is going on here?” I asked Vernay as I opened and closed cupboards and drawers. “What is going on?” he responded with a mischievous smile etched on his face. “Where is the Jollof rice?” I continued. “Jollof rice? What are you even talking about?” he replied, the mischievous smile on his face widening. I knew he was messing around with me and that the best way to win this battle was to act like I didn’t care. So despite the increasing intensity of the hunger, I dragged myself back to the table and just as I was sitting down, Vernay called out to me from the kitchen, “You didn’t say please”.
“Is that all?” I thought to myself as I jumped out of my seat, wincing slightly as the worms in my stomach chewed away at my stomach walls. “Jollof, please”, I called out to him as he produced the pot of jollof rice seemingly from thin air.
